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2.

Couples
Therapy

HOW COUPLES COUNSELING WORKS

The purpose of couples counseling is helping partners learn more about each other and acquire healthy problem-solving skills. I may interview both partners, together or individually, during the first few meetings. Afterward, they may provide feedback. The couple may set therapeutic goals with the guidance of the therapist and develop a plan for therapy so each person knows what to expect. In couples therapy, positive results often depend on the couple’s motivation and dedication to the process. 

As treatment progresses, each partner may become a better listener and communicator. Partners also often learn to support each other new ways. It is not uncommon for conflict to arise in therapy sessions. An ethical marriage counselor will remain neutral and avoid taking sides. Some marriage counselors offer supplemental individual sessions to each partner as a standard part of treatment. Others may offer individual sessions upon request.  

Relationship counseling is generally held once a week. The schedule can vary depending on the couple’s goals and whether each partner is also attending individual or group therapy sessions. Couples counseling is offered in a variety of settings, including private practices, university counseling centers, and group practices. 

Marriage counseling is often short-term, though healing a relationship may take more time. Ultimately, couples therapy will continue for as long as the couple is committed to completing the treatment plan or until they reach resolution.

WHO IS COUPLES COUNSELING FOR?

Any couple with a history together may benefit from relationship counseling. Couples may seek counseling to resolve relationship issues, gain insight into the dynamics of their relationship, strengthen their emotional bonds, or find amicable ways to bring their relationship to an end. Premarital counseling is available for individuals who are engaged to be married. 

WHEN IS COUPLES COUNSELING RECOMMENDED?

As all couples experience tension or conflict at some point in their relationship, many people are unsure when they should seek couples counseling. The reality is that couples may seek relationship counseling for many different reasons, including:

  • Power struggles

  • Communication issues

  • Substance abuse

  • Sexual dissatisfaction

  • Financial issues

  • Anger issues

  • Infidelity

  • Major life adjustments 

  • Frequent conflict or high stress levels

  • Conflicting ideas on childrearing

Most couples counselors agree it’s best to seek couples counseling is as soon as discontent enters the relationship. Therapy need not be delayed until an issue becomes a crisis. In many relationships, couples therapy is not considered until issues persist for an average of six years. This delay can make it more difficult to repair or resolve concerns. 

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Couples therapy is also beneficial for partners who have made firm resolutions about the future of their relationship. A couple in a healthy relationship may seek counseling to increase intimacy or find new ways to connect with each other emotionally. Couples who have already decided to separate may pursue couples counseling in order to end their relationship on respectful terms.

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People who are engaged to be married might also choose to seek premarital counseling. This can help couples explore areas of conflict or concern that may cause difficulty or dissatisfaction in their marriage. Therapy allows couples to discuss differences of opinion, personal values, and their expectations. Premarital counseling can uncover more issues than a couple originally meant to discuss. This may be beneficial, as it allows couples to evaluate whether they are truly compatible before marrying.

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There are many advantages to engaging in couples therapy, but some situations are not improved by this approach. For example, in domestic abuse cases where violence is causing one partner to fear the other, couples therapy may not be enough. In some cases, a person’s safety or life may be jeopardized if they remain in a relationship with an abusive partner. Victims of intimate partner abuse are encouraged to call the police or find a local crisis center in the event of an emergency.

https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/modes/marriage-counseling 

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